I’ve been slacking a little on the blog lately. But I have my reasons, and I’m going to share
them with you today.
First let’s talk about my Weight Loss Wednesdays. I’m not at all ashamed to say how proud I am
of myself for the weight I have lost this year!
20 pounds is no small feat! And
I have done very well all summer staying in the zone I decided I am comfortable
in (130 – 135 pounds). I haven’t been
getting in the steps daily that I really wanted to, but right now its just not
a priority to me. I have other things I
need to focus my time on in my life right now, instead of being on a treadmill
for an hour each day. I haven’t been
counting my calories for a couple of weeks now and things have stayed right
where I want them to. I think I have
just sort of trained myself at this point what I can eat and what I can’t. I still weigh myself every morning and if I
don’t like what I see, I work harder that day.
So what I’m trying to get at is I really don’t see a reason to continue
my Wednesday check ins right now. There
just isn’t anything to report! If I
start to struggle again I will most definitely document it. Or if I can find the time to really get into
the exercise routine that I want to, I will document that. But right now, its pretty boring and just my
daily life.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I’ve never been one to
deal with life changes very well. My
senior year of high school I cried every single day because I knew my life was
about to be turned upside down. I’ve gotten
slightly better at handling things since then, but deep down, I’m still
me. Less than two weeks from now Lyla is
starting kindergarten. My world is about
to get rocked and I’m having a hard time accepting it. I’m working VERY HARD at keeping a strong and
excited attitude anytime that Lyla is around.
I want to her to be excited and to love kindergarten! This is a big deal for her! But Mommy is feeling it… and I know she is
too. Poor kid, she inherited more of my
personality than I wish she had.
The changes are going to start next week when her and I are
going to start our days an hour later.
This way when school starts she won’t already have put in 3 hours at
daycare before getting on the bus. So
yes, I’m excited to get some extra sleep in the morning. But coming to work an hour late means I will
be staying an hour later. Which means
losing an hour out of my evening every day.
You know, my evenings that are already so jam-packed I don’t generally
sit down from the time I get home until I put Lyla to bed.
Then the next week she starts kindergarten. AND soccer starts back up two nights a
week. AND she won’t be taking naps every
day anymore. Its going to be an
adjustment. I know that and I’m
prepared. Prepared – but also not
looking forward to it.
Lyla started daycare at 8 weeks old. I am very accustom to not being with her
every day all day. And that has been
fine. I knew before we got pregnant that
staying home was not an option and I was 100% ok with that. Being a stay at home mom just isn’t something
I am cut out for. So for me, as a mom
who has left her with strangers every day for the last five years…. Why is it
so hard for me to have her heading off to kindergarten? I’ve given it a lot of thought lately and I
have come up with some reasons. Since
its Friday:
Five Things Friday – Reasons I wish Lyla wasn’t starting
kindergarten:
1.
She isn’t going to be where I left her. MAYBE if I could drive her to school and pick
her up I would feel better. I tried to
figure out ways to make that happen and I came up totally blank. There is no feasible way for me to do it. So I will take her to daycare in the morning,
like we always have. Then I have to
trust them to put her on a school bus. A
school bus driven by someone I DO NOT KNOW, who I then have to trust will drive
her to the school. The school where she
will spend all day with more people I DO NOT KNOW. Then I have to trust the strangers to get her
back on the bus, trust the driver to drop her off at daycare, trust that
daycare will pick her up….. It’s a lot
of trust to hand over to people. I’m
trusting them with the most important to thing to me in this whole entire
world. I’m terrified.
2.
Taking her to daycare every day is a lot
different than her being enrolled at school.
Gary and I have always been the final word. We have had the freedom to do as we please. But when she is in school, we are more
accountable. You can’t just take that
random day off when we all just need a break.
Maybe not this year, but soon, we will have to have time for homework
every night. We are going to have to
give more thought to our weekend plans.
If she is exhausted from her week at school, I’m not going to make her
run around all weekend.
3.
This is just the beginning. She is officially growing up. This is the first major milestone. Yes, it was so exciting when she started to walk
and using the bathroom without assistance… but this is the first milestone she
is going to do ON HER OWN. It’s the
first step of us having to learn to let go a little bit. It’s the start of her not needing us as
much. And I’m so proud of her for
growing up and I’m excited to see the person she grows into. I’m happy to see her grow up…. but I’m also
heartbroken at the same time. When I
think of how FAST 5 years have gone.
Before you know it we will be teaching her to drive and moving her into
college. I’m just not ready yet.
4.
I’m going to have to make new friends. I always want to fit in. And I want Lyla to make new friends and be
able to have playdates and that means I’m going to have to befriend some
moms. Here is the thing though, I’m
picky when it comes to friends. And just
because their child is awesome and they get along great with Lyla…. That
doesn’t mean the mom is as cool. Moms
are an odd group. And when you find the
combo of cool kid plus cool mom – well you hold on to them for dear life! Example – Amanda and Becca (and now Miss
Angie). We are one happy little group of
girls when we are all together! It works
out spectacularly! I’ve met the moms of
some of Lyla’s other friends…. Well, you see who we have playdates with. Fingers-crossed there are some cool moms in
the new group! And hopefully they think
I’m cool too… Its like dating all over
again!
5.
Packing Lunches…. Yes, I’m glad I will be in more control of
what she eats every day instead of the stuff (junk) they give her at
daycare. BUT that involves me trying to
come up with something she will eat. Or
paying for school lunches. Neither
option sounds very appealing to me at the moment.
So this is my life at the
moment. Trying to not gain back the 20
pounds I lost while I’m nervous and anxious about Lyla starting kindergarten
and all of the changes happening in our world right now. Its Friday, and we have a weekend with no
plans. I’m hoping to enjoy some family
time the three of us. Maybe we will just
play and be silly all weekend. I think
that would be great!
