5 Things Friday - Charities

Tis the season for giving! 

If you are someone who is financially able and looking for a charity to give to this year, let me share with you the top 5 charities I believe in donating to:

1.  Alzheimer's Awareness/Cures

My Grandma died of Alzheimer's.  A guy I work with and adore lost the love of his life to Alzheimer's.  Its a horrible disease.  It terrifies me that there is a chance of my mom ending up with it.  There is a chance I will end up with it.  The movie The Notebook brought some awareness, but its really just one of those things people don't talk about and unless you have watched a family member die from it, you really don't understand the devastation. 

Seth Rogan (who I LOVE) heads a charity called Hilarity for Charity.  His mother-in-law has Alzheimer's.  He wrote a really good essay for Glamour Magazine you can read here:
Glamour Essay

And you can donate here:
www.hilarityforcharity.org

Or donate to the Alzheimer's Association here:
www.alz.org

2.  SIDS Prevention

I have written a lot about my friend Amanda losing her daughter Cassie.  It was such a horrific event that has forever changed my life.  Amanda works hard at educating other parents so that they never have to go through what her and Justin did.  Every year we participate in the Breath of Life Stroll by Cribs for Kids in Cassie's honor. 

You can donate directly to Cribs for Kids in Cassie's honor here:
www.cribsforkids.org/wings-for-cassie

3.  Remembrance Photography

The day that Em and Gerald lost Lexi none of us were thinking straight.  The hospital asked if they would be ok having someone come in and take photos of Lexi for Em and Gerald to have.  What a blessing.  These are photos that will be treasured always.  The organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is amazing.  At no cost to the parent, they come in and take professional photographs.

You can donate to them here:
www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

4.  St. Jude

I don't know anyone personally who has benefitted from St. Jude Children's Hospital but its always been an organization I believed in.  How awful would it be to have your child sick and not be able to get them the medical care that they need.  

Donate to St. Jude here:
www.stjude.org

5.  Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh

I wish I could say that I never spent any time at Children's, but I have.  I have had Lyla there, Cassie was there, Hendrick was there....  Its a place you hope you never need, but when you do need them you are so glad that they are there.  The staff at Children's is the best and the details of everything in that hospital is remarkable.  It is so kid friendly.  A sick kid is still a kid and things that are scary to adults are even more scary to them.  Children's has made it a safe place.  From the colorful hallways to the toys and iPads.  Donations here go a long way.

Donate to Children's Hospital here:
www.givetochildrens.org

2012 Walk to End Alzheimer's

My family participated in the 2012 Walk to End Alzheimer's today in memory and in honor of my Grandma.  It was so special for us all to spend the day together!  Here is just a glimpse of the fun:

My Grandma's Legacy Will Always Live On

A year ago today, I lost my Grandma to Alzheimer's Disease. 

You can read my posts about how she was diagnosed as well as my favorite memories of her here:
 Its Going To Be A Long Week  and  More Grandma Memories

And this is the link to the team page for the Alzheimer's Walk I am doing in her honor:
Helen's Heroes Team Page

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I find it very interesting that the older you get, you begin to reflect on things that have happen in your life or people you have known and you can see everything in a different light.  It doesn't mean you saw it wrong the first time around, but as you get more mature you can appreciate things for different reasons.

My Grandma had a personality that was all her own.  She was very unique in my opinion.  And everyone loved her.  She always had lots of friends and would always be out and about doing something.  Whether it was card club or a party for someone or something with the church.  There was always SOMETHING to do.  You would never ever in a million years find her just sitting at home with nothing to do.  And she taught me to be just like her!   I often complain about not having any free time and that my calendar is booked up months in advance, but really, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I talk a lot about my Grandma, but I would also like to take a moment to remember my Pap.  Because I believe that together, they were unstoppable.  He was an amazing man.  He had so much love inside of him.  I never heard him say anything bad about anyone.  He was the world to me for the 13 years that I got to spend with him.  He was always calm.  He loved to sit in his recliner at their big picture window and watch birds all day long.  He put coffee on his cereal instead of milk.  He loved his cows.  He loved his farm.  He loved his kids and grandkids.  And he loved my Grandma.

Until my Pap passed away whenever Em and I would go stay at my Grandparents house we always split, Em would go with Grandma because she was the baby and Pap and I would sneak off somewhere and basically, for lack of a better word, we would hide from them!  haha  We would go down in his tool shed and build something like a swing to hang in the tree.  Or we would go walk around the farm.  Whatever we could find to do to escape my Grandma harping at us! 

They were just so funny together!  And the longer Gary and I are married and the older I get and remember things about my Grandma and Pap together, Gary and I are a lot like they were.  And that makes me so happy.  My grandparents absolutely had a marriage that I looked up to.  They were really pretty different people and no, they didn't always agree or get along, but they were a team.  They took on the world together (while seeing as much of the world as they could!).  They took their marriage vows very seriously.  My Pap never took his wedding ring off from the day they got married.  NEVER TOOK IT OFF.  My mom wears it now.  I have their wedding picture framed in my living room.  Its really one of my most prized possessions.  They are such an inspiration to me.

Part of my wishes that my Pap hadn't died so young so that maybe once Grandma starting suffering the effects from Alzheimer's he could have helped somehow.  Maybe she could have lived at home longer.  Maybe just having him there would have slowed it down somehow.  Maybe it could have kept her grounded a little bit.   But part of me is thankful that he wasn't around to see how far she got from the woman he fell in love with.  I think it would have broke his heart when she couldn't remember who he was or all the memories that they had together - because she just no longer had those memories. 

That is what is just so baffling about this disease to me.  You forget your life.  Think about that for a minute.  You live your entire life.  Nobody knows your life better than you do.  And then you just don't know anymore.  But the weird part is that you don't even know that you don't know.  Maybe that's the silver lining of it all.  You aren't aware that there are things you don't know that you absolutely should.  Well I shouldn't really say that, I do think there is a time during the disease, before its full blown where you get frustrated.  You get frustrated because you should know things and you don't.  But after you get on the other side of that line, you are blissfully ignorant to the actuality of what is happening.

This has turned in to a complete ramble!  I really just wanted to mark the anniversary of my Grandma's passing with some reflection. 

Remember to let me know if you want to walk or donate to Helen's Heroes! 

Helen's Heroes - A Walk to End Alzheimer's

Team Website

I am captaining a team in honor of my Grandma - Helen Ely who passed away last September.

If anyone is interested in joining my team and walking with us, please let me know!  You can follow the link above to go to my team page and join my team.

If you don't want to or can't walk with us and want to make a donation in her honor, you can do that by following the above link also!

This is a cause very close to my heart.  People don't talk a lot about Alzheimer's Disease and its hard to really understand what its like until you have lived through it.  When you think about a family that loses a loved one to Cancer or another lengthy illness you think about how awful it was for the family to watch their loved one suffer for so long.  I feel like a lot of people forget that its the same drawn out, horrible experience when you lose a loved one to Alzheimer's.  Trust me, I'm not suggesting that one is worse or better than the other, lets face it - both are heartwrenching! 

When someone is dying of Alzheimer's its hard for the family because there isn't ever a time to say "goodbye".  The fact is you can live with Alzheimer's for years like my Grandma did.  But for the family, even though they are still "living" they are already gone and you are trying to cope with that while at the same time caring for the patient who is technically still "living".  It can really rip you apart when you hate to see them at the nursing home without visitors when at the same time if you do go they don't know who you are.  You have to decide if its better to try to tell them who you are or just let them believe you are a stranger that they have never met.  My Grandma got to the point where she didn't even know that she had ever had children.  Its shocking how your mind can just erase all your memories from your life like that.

I'm going to continue to do posts about my Grandma and about other people who I know that have been affected by this disease in the future, just look for the "Helen's Heroes" label!   And please visit my Team Page for the Walk to End Alzheimer's.

More Grandma Memories

I knew this would happen!  I can't promise this to be the last post either!

• She always had to sleep on a satin pillow because she would get her hair done once a week and the satin pillow "protected it".
• She always had to have her lipstick on.  ALWAYS!
• She would always guess what her Christmas or Birthday presents were right before opening them.  It always really stunk when she would guess right.... haha
• She ate cornflakes for breakfast EVERY morning.
• She never let us waste things.  If you opened up a can of pop and didn't finish it she would just put it back in the fridge and pull out for you at the next meal.  Or the next weekend when you were there.  She didn't care if it was flat - you were going to finish that can of pop!
• Whenever we got strawberries instead of just cutting the top part with the stem off she would give us each a straw.  And we had to take the straw and push it up through the bottom of the strawberry and pop the top off.  It was so weird and to this day I dont' know why she made us do it that way!  But as a kid it was a lot of fun!
• She loved to travel.  Her and Pap got to take a trip to the Grand Canyon before he died, I'm so glad they got to take that trip! 
• She tried not to curse around the kids.  So we heard lots of "Oh Shit - Oh Shinny"  "Hells Bells"

Its going to be a long week...

Its going to be a long week, full of lots of joy and lots of sorrow.  My little sister gets married this coming Saturday and my Grandma passed away yesterday.  Yesterday, today, tomorrow and Thursday will be the sorrow and the pain and the mourning of an amazing lady.  Friday, Saturday and Sunday will be the joy of seeing my little sister become a wife and start her own family!  And the joy of welcoming my new "brother" Gerald to our family.  Where there is a void it will be filled with more love.

For anyone who doesn't know what we have gone through with my grandma in the last 15 years, let me bring you up to speed.  15 years ago, on my 13th birthday, my pap passed away.  It was a horrible time for our family.  He was a wonderful man who is truly missed every day by all of us and his passing really tore us all apart.  When he died that left my Grandma all alone living in a big farm house taking care of a farm.  Of course we all helped her out, but it was still a lot for her to be there by herself.  So after a couple of years we moved her in to an apartment in a senior living complex.  She had her own kitchen, living room, bathroom and bedroom.  She was living on her own but there was help there if she ever needed it.  And one day she did.  Seven years ago she fell, so she pulled one of the ropes for help.  When they took her to the hospital she coded and I believe with every part of my being she should have died that day.  That was how the story should have ended, but it didn't.  With medical intervention they brought her back and she was never the same again.  She had the beginnings of Alzheimer's and couldn't go back to the apartment to live on her own anymore.  So she went to live in the assisted living - nursing home part of the building.  Year after year her Alzheimer's disease got worse and worse.  I was lucky enough that she was able to come to my bridal shower and my wedding, but she wasn't herself.  And as time went on she didn't know who any of us were, couldn't even remember that she had been married or had children - let alone her grandchildren.  So my Grandma has been "dying" for the last seven years, so no, this was not an "unexpected" death, but yes, the timing really stinks with Em's wedding this week.  And for the record, just because a death is expected that doesn't make it hurt any less.  Its funny all this time I felt like I was completely prepared for when she passed away, I mean we really haven't had her around for such a long time.  But I'm not.  I'm not prepared to go to the funeral home tomorrow night and see her laying in a coffin.  Even when she had no idea what was going on, you could still go visit her and she would talk to you and laugh with you - then ask you the same three questions for the next hour.... haha

This is a link to her obituary.

And now for some happy memories of my Grandma!  I might have to add a few new blog entries as I think of more but Em and I were having a lot of fun remembering things last night and I just wanted to share some of it!

• My Grandma was crazy about word search books!  She would keep lists of which ones she had already bought and done.  And I always thought it was funny how she wouldn't circle the words, she would draw a line straight through it.  Even when she was sick, mom would still get her word search books and she would write notes in the margins.  I doubt she ever pulled the books out and read the notes after she wrote them, but they were there.
• Em would always bake pumpkin pies with her.  And Em always laughed about how Grandma would measure every ingredient down to the grain of sugar.  hahaha  What makes that whole thing even funnier is how much I am like my Grandma.  She rarely cooked and we all know I don't cook!  But she did bake on occasion and when she did she was such a perfectionist just like I am! 
• There were always lots of birds around my grandparents house.  My pap always put up bird feeders and liked to watch them out of this huge picture window they had.  Every time a bird would tweet Grandma would always say listen, its saying "pretty pretty pretty"!  Em and I think about that every time we hear birds to this day! 
• She hated to sit at home.  Another way we are so much alike.  We used to make all kinds of excuses to have to go to town.  And she LOVED Walmart!  She used to say we had to go to Walmart so that the people there wouldn't miss her and think that something happen to her.
• She loved to talk on the phone.  I remember as a young teenager hanging out at her house and wanting to go upstairs and have a private conversation on the phone in her bedroom.  She would ask probably 10 times - you know how to use the call waiting right.  Make sure you answer it if somebody calls!
• She genuinely cared about people.  She was a nurse all her life.  A traveling nurse.  She would go to houses that were in the middle of the ghetto to take care of people and she wouldn't even bat an eye at the thugs on the corner.  Usually they knew her name and would tell her hello!  That's just the impact that she had on people.  When she retired her and my pap delivered meals for Meals On Wheels.  Em and I used to go with them when we were off from school.  She would just make those peoples whole day/week I think! 
• Every year on Thanksgiving my cousin Amber and I used to go with my grandparents to deliver Thanksgiving dinners to less fortunate families for the church.  That was always a really happy memory of mine.  We would go in to all their houses and everyone would always be watching the parade on tv and they were always so happy to see us.  A lot of them wouldn't get to spend the day with family so we were the only ones they got to see.
• She used to write with her toes!  hahahahaha  Only my family will understand this I think!  She would take her shoes and socks off and put a pen between her toes and try to write with it.  Its one of those you had to be there moments, but hysterical all the same!
• Along the same lines, she used to balance a spoon on her nose!  haha

I'm done for now, but lets all just smile and remember Grandma like she was when she was healthy!