Em and Gerald asked everyone to wear some color to celebrate the fact that Lexi is a little girl. Gerald got a pink tie, Em got a pink sweater. I wore a purple dress and Gary wore a purple shirt. All for our sweet Lexi.
Em and Gerald first went to the funeral home to have some private time with her. Then they all came to the church where we had a small service. Gary and I stood and Gary read the blog I had written. Jacinda and Luke got up and read. Then the preacher read a letter that Em and Gerald had wrote to Lexi. Below is a copy of what they wrote:
To our
precious Lexi Mae,
It
saddens us to have to write this letter to you, not to be able to tell you face
to face. While we only knew you for a
short time we cannot begin to tell you how many plans and wishes we had for
you. We did not know that you were our
daughter until the very end. We chose to
be surprised. We did know however that
if we were blessed with a girl how spoiled and loved you would be.
As your
mother I would have made sure that you knew the special relationship that only
a mother and daughter could have. I
would have taught you to always stand up for what you feel is right and not to
let anyone try and change your mind. Being
bull headed is not always a bad thing. I
would have taught you that it’s ok to want to ride quads and play in the dirt
and then come inside and play dress-up.
I would have made sure that you had a new outfit for every occasion no
matter how small. I would have offered
you all the advice and wisdom that was passed down to me from my mom, as well
as what I have managed to learn on my own.
I would have tried to persuade you that Kenny Chesney is the greatest
singer ever and together we could have driven your dad nuts singing his songs
all the time. I would have passed down
my wedding dress and allowed you to tell me how out of style it is. I would have taught you how important a work
ethic is and how rewarding it can be to know that you can support and take care
of yourself. I would have also made sure
that you know how you deserved to be treated and never to settle for anything
less. I would have wished you would find
a man to treat you just as you dad treats me.
I would have wanted you to feel the same love and respect that I have
been lucky enough the find. You will
always be my precious baby girl and I can’t begin to tell how sad it makes me
to know that I will never have the opportunity to teach these things and so
many others.
As your
father, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I do know that after holding you
in my arms I would have done anything for you and yes, just like your mother
says we would have been poor, I would have bought anything in the world for my
baby girl. I would have bought you flowers for every occasion and some just
because. You would have had the coolest car or the biggest truck or even both
if you wanted. We would have rode quads together, even if your mother objected,
you would have been able to out ride all of the boys. We could have went
hunting together, at least until you got to be too cool to hang out with me. You
are beautiful like your mother so I know I would have had some conversations
with some boys. And Kenny isn’t so bad, I would have loved to hear you and your
mom sing together. I would have taught
you the value of an education if you decided that’s what you wanted. I would have shown how rewarding it can be to
work hard. I would have taught you to
not live in fear and not be afraid to play hard, even though your mother would
have said otherwise. I would have wanted
you to always strive to live for the day.
I will miss you every day.
We are
aware that we as your parents are not the only ones who are grieving you. We have wonderful people both friends and
family in our lives that would have shown you more love than you will ever
know. You have grandparents who would
have spoiled you with love and gifts even if we objected. You have aunts and uncles that would have taught
you everything that we hoped you wouldn’t learn, and they would have bought you
things like camo hip waders and taught you that the big city isn’t so bad. You have a cousin who would have passed down
all her stuff and taught you how to wrap grandma and pap around your
finger. You have a puppy that would have protected you
from anything and ate all the food that you didn’t like unless it’s a vegetable. He had already picked his spot to sleep right
in front of your crib. There are
numerous other people that would have been involved in your life. We wish they all had a chance to see how
beautiful you were.
In the
time that we have come to know you, you have taught us so much. It's an awesome thought to us that you've
fulfilled your life's purpose in such a short time. You have taught us to not take life for
granted, to not sweat the small things.
You have helped make us realize what a gift everyday can be. Before you were born we were never really
sure that we would be the parenting types, however after holding you in our
arms and feeling the love that can only be felt for a child we know that we
would have been good parents and will always hold you in our hearts.
Lexi,
we want you to know that you will never be forgotten. We will continue to celebrate you as long as
we are here on Earth. We are at peace
knowing that in spirit you will always be with us. It will continue to pain us every day that we
cannot hold you in our arms, but we will get through it knowing that someday we
will be with you again.
We love
you with all our hearts,
Mom and
Dad
After the service was over we all went to the cemetery. Em and Gerald picked a beautiful spot for her. Its right beside the pond.
Em saved some flowers from the arrangements and dried them and added them to an amazing wall that she has made at her house to remember Lexi. Because that is our number one priority now - to never let her be forgotten.
None of us are the same people we were a month ago. Tomorrow is the last day of July. When I think of everything that has changed in my world in the last month its just mind boggling. None of us are the same and that is ok. Lexi happened. There is no denying that or pretending like she didn't. She is just as important to us today as she was a month ago - before we knew what would happen to her. Just because we lost her doesn't mean we love her any less. She is still a part of our family and she always will be. We love you Lexi.
