Not all fairytales have a happy ending.
Em's water broke Friday night and her and Gerald headed to the hospital. When they got there the doctors couldn't find the baby's heartbeat and that is the moment that our lives all changed...
Em went on to deliver a beautiful baby girl at 7:06 Saturday morning. She was 7 pounds 8 ounces. She had lots of dark hair like her daddy. Alexa Mae "Lexi" was perfect.
Its amazing how life can change so fast. In an instant Em and Gerald went from going into labor to planning a funeral. No parent should ever have to bury a child. Its just not how the world is supposed to work, but sometimes things just don't go as planned, no matter what we do.
My "little" sister is the strongest woman I have ever met. I have so much admiration for her and the strength she has shown through all of this. To know that you have already lost your baby and then to have to deliver is something that no one should ever have to experience. But she did it. And I believe in her. I believe that she is going to take this horrific tragedy and turn it into something positive.
And Gerald.... I know that my sister will always be taken care of as long as he is around. Gerald would move mountains if she asked him to. And I know that it breaks his heart that he couldn't fix this for her. I would have loved watching him raise Lexi, you know she would have had him wrapped around her finger. Em may have been upstaged.
This is what breaks my heart and keeps me up at night. All the things we will never know. Lyla acts just like Em, to the point I call them by each others names quite often. I wonder - would Lexi have acted like me? Would she have been the little country girl in cowboy boots and camo? Or would she have been the totally girly girl who hated going outside? We won't ever have the answers.
To put it simply - it sucks. Its just blah. Its not fair, it isn't right and if there were any way in this world for me to change it I would.
Saturday was a terrible day and a beautiful day all at the same time. I'm thankful I was there and that I got to hold my niece, even if it was so briefly. I hate that she was taken away from us before we had the chance to know who she could have become.
Alexa Mae has changed this world and I will live the rest of my life making sure that she isn't ever forgotten.
