Its hard to wrap my mind around the fact that it was two years ago that I got that life shattering phone call. Lexi's memory has just become a part of our lives now, like she's always been in that spot of our souls. We have all found our own ways of continuing to live our lives, but they are not the same lives we had before she came. I see things differently now. I think about the things I say to people differently now. Its like you are a part of a club that nobody wants to be in. We've experienced something so horrific that nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to believe that it can happen.
Almost all of my girlfriends are currently pregnant. I'm ecstatic for them. But I'm tarnished now. I know firsthand that things don't always go the way you plan and it terrifies me. I don't want to watch another person I love go through that. Waiting in that hospital while Em gave birth to Lexi, knowing that she was already gone just about broke me.
Its amazing to me that two years later whenever most of the time I'm ok - it can hit me in the oddest moment. It will just floor me with an overwhelming sense of disbelief. I just go right back to that day and that feeling of being helpless. Not being able to do ANYTHING to change the situation that was playing out in front of me.
So today - I ask you all to LOVE. Love in memory of Lexi. Love your family. Love your kids. Just hold everyone a little closer because today that is something you can do. Loving the people in your life is something that you can control.
Friday after work Lyla and I met her friend Alexis and her mom at the park. The girls played for a couple hours then Lyla and I went and got subs for dinner.
Saturday morning we got up and Lyla and I met Amanda and the girls at the park. They did the spray park and the playground. After that Lyla and I went and got haircuts then she went over to Amanda's for the rest of the afternoon. They did water balloons and swam in the pool. Before bed Saturday night we set off fireworks at the house.
Sunday morning Lyla and I took her bike (minus her training wheels!) and went to practice! She is thisclose to doing it on her own! She can do it, she just isn't confident in it yet. We are working at it though and I got a serious workout helping her!
After that we went home and got ready and headed to Indiana County for a festival that ended with a Clarks concert and fireworks. Lyla was in her glory - there were tons of bounce houses!
Then it was time for the concert! I was so excited to take Lyla to see the Clarks. They are my favorite group to go see! She asked me how many times I have seen them and I honestly don't know. I would guess around 20 times. And it made me so happy that she loved them too! It was nice because it wasn't super crowded so her and I were able to go down front and dance the whole time! After the show we hung around and I got her picture taken with Greg from the band! She's my little groupie in training! After the concert we stayed for the fireworks then headed home. It was a late night, but totally worth it!
Today Lyla and I got up and got ready and went back to the park (again - I might as well set up a tent and start sleeping there) and met her friend Hailey, her mom and little sister to play for a few hours. The girls had a blast playing and the moms really enjoyed chatting! ;)
Then we came home and spent the rest of the day with Gary!
And just to end the weekend with a giggle - this is my favorite picture from the weekend. I like to call it "How my family REALLY feels about the selfie stick"
This past Saturday I finally gave my mom her Christmas present... six months after the fact!
For Christmas I got her tickets to see Chicago at the Benedum Center in Pittsburgh. Mom and I took advantage of the reason to be downtown and went down early to walk around and explore. We walked down to the point and took a selfie in front of the fountain. Mom can cross the point off of her Burgh Bucket List now! :)
We had such a fun day together. Its not very often that we get to hang out just the two of us anymore and it was a really special day!
We just got home last night from our week at the beach. We really had such a wonderful time! For a while we weren't sure if Gary would get to come or not with his knee, but he did and Lyla and I were very happy to have him there, even if he wasn't able to do everything with us. He was still there and that was important.
We had never been to Wildwood and I didn't know anyone else who vacations there so we were sort of flying blind. We had to do a lot of trial and error and learn from experience for next time we go (because we are planning to go back)!
The Drive
I'm used to driving to Myrtle Beach, this was so much better! I don't know why we would want to drive that far when you can get to a beach in close to half the travel time! I drove the whole way down and Gary drove back. The worst part is that we went right through Philadelphia, including a four lane highway, but luckily it was Sunday when I was driving so it wasn't awful.
Lyla did great in the car! Thank goodness for the portable dvd player! On the way home she passed out when we were 4 miles from the exit....
The Hotel
We stayed at the Aqua Beach Hotel and it was perfect for us! We paid a little more for a room that had a small kitchen in it and I think that saved us a TON OF MONEY. It had a full size refrigerator, coffee maker, microwave, cook top, toaster, pots & pans... We took basic food for breakfast and lunch, but we really could have taken a lot more. Now we know. AND they have gas grills by the pool that guests are welcome to use. Didn't know that, but we could have taken things to grill for dinner.
The location of the hotel was also great. You couldn't be any closer to the beach. And the hotel had beach chairs, umbrellas and boogie boards that guests were able to use. It was also at the very end of the boardwalk so there were plenty of activities in walking distance.
I really loved the set up of the pool too. It had a 1 foot deep area for little ones, then a fence, then it went from 3 foot to 4 foot to 5 foot. The pool was shaped in an L around the hot tub. It was perfect because Lyla wanted to be in the pool and I wanted to be in the hot tub. And we were able to do that. I could see her the entire time and I was right there in case she had any problems I could have jumped out and been right there in seconds. They also supplied all kinds of pool toys and balls for the guests to use in the pool. And they played great music around the pool all day long!
One other really neat feature of the hotel was the rooftop deck that all all sorts of lounge chairs and hammocks to relax and look over the beach and ocean. Lyla referred to them as the "hamps" all week. We don't know why... lol
So we gave the hotel two thumbs up! The staff was all great, we had zero complaints!
The Restaurants
It took us eating a lot of ice cream and until the very last night to find the "good" ice cream! It was at Sea Shell ice cream. It was the BEST we had and the cheapest!
There are a lot of diners there, which is fun, but I'm over sandwiches and fries... We didn't really have any great meals to be super excited about. We went out to breakfast one morning and it was ok. I think next time I will just bring more food to eat at the hotel and spend that money on other things. We pretty much at sandwiches and pizza all week.
Activities
I was so excited to take Lyla on this dolphin cruise. Well we left the hotel at the time I wanted to get there, then I turned the wrong way and had to take a 16 mile detour..... I thought for sure the boat was going to leave without us. But we made it. It was ok... I won't do it again. Lyla was over it pretty quick. As soon as we put our cameras away tons of dolphins came... figures. Then the next day we saw dolphins right along the beach, we could have just done that for free!
We played mini golf one night. That was fun! The golf course we picked was cute. They had a few really easy holes that kept it fun and not so hard that Lyla wanted to quit.
The boardwalk was really fun! There are all sorts of things to do (and things to waste money on). We let Lyla do some rides one afternoon. And we got her hair wrapped the last day. They had a place with old arcade games that Gary was really excited about. There is this little train thing called the Tram Car that we rode. It takes you from one end of the boardwalk to the other and you can get on and off. That was helpful with Gary's knee.
The Beach
There were some things at Wildwood beach that I haven't seen at other beaches that I really liked! The had a wooden sidewalk that took you down closer to the water. It was much easier than walking in the sand the whole way! And they had porta johns on the beach, which doesn't look real nice, BUT its great when you have to pee and you don't have to do it in the ocean or go all the way back to your hotel!
Lyla and I found all sorts of seashells. She loved searching for them! And then we would sit at the room and sort through them and get rid of any broken ones. She also loved playing in the sand and building sandcastles and a sandman (snowman made out of sand).
The Weather
I booked our vacation for this past week because it wasn't in the peak season yet, so the costs were still lower. It was a roll of the dice what kind of weather we would have got. The day we got there it was close to 90, I wish that had been the case all week, but it wasn't. We had cooler weather and some rain and some really windy days. We made the best of it. Next time we may try to find a good price a little later in the summer just for it to be warmer.
All in all we had a really great week! We spent family time together and made some wonderful memories. And THAT is what vacation is all about! Now... back to reality. :(
