A year ago today, I lost my Grandma to Alzheimer's Disease.
You can read my posts about how she was diagnosed as well as my favorite memories of her here:
Its Going To Be A Long Week and
More Grandma Memories
And this is the link to the team page for the Alzheimer's Walk I am doing in her honor:
Helen's Heroes Team Page
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I find it very interesting that the older you get, you begin to reflect on things that have happen in your life or people you have known and you can see everything in a different light. It doesn't mean you saw it wrong the first time around, but as you get more mature you can appreciate things for different reasons.
My Grandma had a personality that was all her own. She was very unique in my opinion. And everyone loved her. She always had lots of friends and would always be out and about doing something. Whether it was card club or a party for someone or something with the church. There was always
SOMETHING to do. You would never ever in a million years find her just sitting at home with nothing to do. And she taught me to be just like her! I often complain about not having any free time and that my calendar is booked up months in advance, but really, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I talk a lot about my Grandma, but I would also like to take a moment to remember my Pap. Because I believe that together, they were unstoppable. He was an amazing man. He had so much love inside of him. I never heard him say anything bad about anyone. He was the world to me for the 13 years that I got to spend with him. He was always calm. He loved to sit in his recliner at their big picture window and watch birds all day long. He put coffee on his cereal instead of milk. He loved his cows. He loved his farm. He loved his kids and grandkids. And he loved my Grandma.
Until my Pap passed away whenever Em and I would go stay at my Grandparents house we always split, Em would go with Grandma because she was the baby and Pap and I would sneak off somewhere and basically, for lack of a better word, we would hide from them! haha We would go down in his tool shed and build something like a swing to hang in the tree. Or we would go walk around the farm. Whatever we could find to do to escape my Grandma harping at us!
They were just so funny together! And the longer Gary and I are married and the older I get and remember things about my Grandma and Pap together, Gary and I are a lot like they were. And that makes me so happy. My grandparents absolutely had a marriage that I looked up to. They were really pretty different people and no, they didn't always agree or get along, but they were a team. They took on the world together (while seeing as much of the world as they could!). They took their marriage vows very seriously. My Pap never took his wedding ring off from the day they got married. NEVER TOOK IT OFF. My mom wears it now. I have their wedding picture framed in my living room. Its really one of my most prized possessions. They are such an inspiration to me.
Part of my wishes that my Pap hadn't died so young so that maybe once Grandma starting suffering the effects from Alzheimer's he could have helped somehow. Maybe she could have lived at home longer. Maybe just having him there would have slowed it down somehow. Maybe it could have kept her grounded a little bit. But part of me is thankful that he wasn't around to see how far she got from the woman he fell in love with. I think it would have broke his heart when she couldn't remember who he was or all the memories that they had together - because she just no longer had those memories.
That is what is just so baffling about this disease to me. You forget your life. Think about that for a minute. You live your entire life. Nobody knows your life better than you do. And then you just don't know anymore. But the weird part is that you don't even know that you don't know. Maybe that's the silver lining of it all. You aren't aware that there are things you don't know that you absolutely should. Well I shouldn't really say that, I do think there is a time during the disease, before its full blown where you get frustrated. You get frustrated because you should know things and you don't. But after you get on the other side of that line, you are blissfully ignorant to the actuality of what is happening.
This has turned in to a complete ramble! I really just wanted to mark the anniversary of my Grandma's passing with some reflection.
Remember to let me know if you want to walk or donate to Helen's Heroes!
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