But this video... well it makes me smile every time I watch it! Lyla is a flower girl in two different weddings this year. Her dress for Erin's wedding came in the mail on Friday. I asked her if she wanted to try it on. She said yes yes yes.. but let me get my crown first! I'm a princess so I need a crown! And I know the dress is too big and her boobies are hanging out which makes it that much funnier! Hopefully she grows between now and the end of July!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Smile
I feel like we could all use a smile on this rainy day. Its only Wednesday and its been a rough week in my house. Lyla was sick starting Sunday and better enough today to go back to daycare, but not 100% yet. I started with it Monday night. I went to the funeral home for Cassie yesterday. Things have just been rough...
But this video... well it makes me smile every time I watch it! Lyla is a flower girl in two different weddings this year. Her dress for Erin's wedding came in the mail on Friday. I asked her if she wanted to try it on. She said yes yes yes.. but let me get my crown first! I'm a princess so I need a crown! And I know the dress is too big and her boobies are hanging out which makes it that much funnier! Hopefully she grows between now and the end of July!
But this video... well it makes me smile every time I watch it! Lyla is a flower girl in two different weddings this year. Her dress for Erin's wedding came in the mail on Friday. I asked her if she wanted to try it on. She said yes yes yes.. but let me get my crown first! I'm a princess so I need a crown! And I know the dress is too big and her boobies are hanging out which makes it that much funnier! Hopefully she grows between now and the end of July!
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Update
I know that I need to do an update. And I know that whether or not I do an update does not change the reality of what has happen. Its just so hard to see it in black and white. It just makes it all so real.
For everyone who I have been keeping informed of the situation with my dear friend Amanda and her sweet baby girl Cassie, her short journey has come to an end. Her and her amazing husband were put in a situation that absolutely no parent should ever be in. Especially the loving parents that they are who would do anything for their kids. That was the problem, there wasn't anything left for them to do.
I'm writing this with such a broken heart. I know how hurt and sad I am over what has happen to them. I know that I keep just asking myself WHY? But I can't even for a second imagine the pain that they are feeling. I would never even try to compare how I feel to what they are going through.
They decided yesterday that they had to turn off the life support machines. There wasn't any future left for Cassie. She was most likely going to have to live the rest of her life on support. She wasn't ever going to be able to feel their love. She wasn't ever going to be able to live off of a machine. She wouldn't ever really be living again no matter what decision they made. So they did what they knew they had to do.
I don't want to try to speak for them or what they are feeling. All I can say is that they have more respect from me than I can even express. They are great people who I am very glad to know. I'm going to do whatever I can to help them through this. Its the least I can do.
I don't really know what else to say, so I'm just going to leave it at that. Its just so sad and there isn't any explanation for it.
For everyone who I have been keeping informed of the situation with my dear friend Amanda and her sweet baby girl Cassie, her short journey has come to an end. Her and her amazing husband were put in a situation that absolutely no parent should ever be in. Especially the loving parents that they are who would do anything for their kids. That was the problem, there wasn't anything left for them to do.
I'm writing this with such a broken heart. I know how hurt and sad I am over what has happen to them. I know that I keep just asking myself WHY? But I can't even for a second imagine the pain that they are feeling. I would never even try to compare how I feel to what they are going through.
They decided yesterday that they had to turn off the life support machines. There wasn't any future left for Cassie. She was most likely going to have to live the rest of her life on support. She wasn't ever going to be able to feel their love. She wasn't ever going to be able to live off of a machine. She wouldn't ever really be living again no matter what decision they made. So they did what they knew they had to do.
I don't want to try to speak for them or what they are feeling. All I can say is that they have more respect from me than I can even express. They are great people who I am very glad to know. I'm going to do whatever I can to help them through this. Its the least I can do.
I don't really know what else to say, so I'm just going to leave it at that. Its just so sad and there isn't any explanation for it.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I wish I had a better update
I've been delaying posting anything with hopes that Amanda would call me with a better update, but that hasn't happen yet.
Friday they had to put Cassie back on the ventilator so they could preform another MRI. She was breathing on her own without it, but not well enough to do the MRI.
They haven't been able to get her back off of it yet.
They are supposed to meet with the team of doctors sometime this week and try to come up with their plan for the future.
Friday they had to put Cassie back on the ventilator so they could preform another MRI. She was breathing on her own without it, but not well enough to do the MRI.
They haven't been able to get her back off of it yet.
They are supposed to meet with the team of doctors sometime this week and try to come up with their plan for the future.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Cassie
A little bit of a setback today. Maybe not a setback, we will call it a delay.
Everyone had hopes of her getting the vent out sooner rather than later, but its not going to happen today and maybe not for a few more days. The reasons are they need her to have better and more frequent cough/gag reflexes before extubating. Also there isn't any leak around the tube right now. So they need to give her some meds to decrease the swelling around the tube.
The positive is that she is doing very well breathing on her own with just the oxygen. And its good that they aren't rushing things and are waiting until she is 100% ready before moving forward.
But as a mom who just wants so desperately for her baby girl to be better and to come home - its frustrating.
Thursday will be two weeks since this nightmare began. I'm sure the longest two weeks of their lives.
Everyone had hopes of her getting the vent out sooner rather than later, but its not going to happen today and maybe not for a few more days. The reasons are they need her to have better and more frequent cough/gag reflexes before extubating. Also there isn't any leak around the tube right now. So they need to give her some meds to decrease the swelling around the tube.
The positive is that she is doing very well breathing on her own with just the oxygen. And its good that they aren't rushing things and are waiting until she is 100% ready before moving forward.
But as a mom who just wants so desperately for her baby girl to be better and to come home - its frustrating.
Thursday will be two weeks since this nightmare began. I'm sure the longest two weeks of their lives.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Cassie Update
Saturday Amanda finally got to hold her. I can't even imagine what that must have felt like! If it were me they would have had to pry my baby out of my arms once I finally got to hold her!
She has also started breathing over her ventilator. She has been beginning to cough and gag a little bit, which I'm told is what you want to happen because she needs to be able to do that to take the ventilator out. They are doing a CPAP trial this morning to see how she does breathing on her own and so far she is doing good.
Hopefully they can get her off of the ventilator within the next few days. I will keep everyone posted as I find things out. These are all just small steps, but the good thing is that they are small steps in the right direction.
She has also started breathing over her ventilator. She has been beginning to cough and gag a little bit, which I'm told is what you want to happen because she needs to be able to do that to take the ventilator out. They are doing a CPAP trial this morning to see how she does breathing on her own and so far she is doing good.
Hopefully they can get her off of the ventilator within the next few days. I will keep everyone posted as I find things out. These are all just small steps, but the good thing is that they are small steps in the right direction.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Sweet Baby Cassie
I've been going back and forth with myself about whether I want to write anything about this or not. And I think I've decided that I do. I figure any more people I can reach who can help support this poor family, the better.
Amanda and I have become very close friends very quickly. We live super close to each other and her oldest daughter, Becca, and Lyla are bestest buddies. Amanda was pregnant when we met and gave birth to little Cassie on November 11th.
Amanda and her husband the kids were all down to our house for our New Years Eve Eve party that Sunday. I hadn't talked to her all week and last Friday afternoon I sent her a text to see what their plans were for the weekend. I didn't hear back until after I put Lyla to bed Friday night. And that one little text crushed me and has changed every thought I have had in the last week.
She said that they had Cassie in the ICU and she is in bad shape. She would call me when she could with the details.
I didn't get to talk to her until Saturday afternoon. So from Friday night when I read the text until she called me Saturday I convinced myself that Cassie got some kind of cold or flu and since she is so little she just couldn't fight it off on her own. I was wrong.
So here is what has happen in the last week:
Thursday Night: Cassie woke up fussing during the night. Amanda didn't go in right away to see if she would put herself back to sleep. About 20 - 30 minutes after she quit crying Amanda went in to check on her. She wasn't breathing. Her heart wasn't beating. They called 911 and her husband starting doing CPR.
She got admitted to Children's Hospital. She was in a coma. On a ventilator. Just not sure of what was going to happen. They dropped her body temperature way down to help prevent her brain from swelling.
Tuesday Morning: She woke up! She opened her eyes and started to move her little arms!
Wednesday: The MRI results show moderate to severe brain damage. But for right now the doctors don't really know what that means. Since she is so little, she could push through and live a relatively normal life. Nobody can predict right now how its going to go.
Right now: Cassie is still in ICU, but she is stable. They have been working to wean her from the ventilator by turning it down a little bit at a time. She still has the feeding tube. Amanda has been able to pump and they can give her the breast milk which I think is sort of special. Some of the medicine she is on makes her really sleepy so there hasn't been a whole lot of activity lately. They removed her catheter a couple days ago.
My heart is broken for them. They are living my worst nightmare. So please any extra thoughts, prayers or support that you can send to them, do it. They are fighters and I know they are going to pull through this, but that doesn't make it any easier on any of them.
I will try to keep you all posted of any updates.
Amanda and I have become very close friends very quickly. We live super close to each other and her oldest daughter, Becca, and Lyla are bestest buddies. Amanda was pregnant when we met and gave birth to little Cassie on November 11th.
Amanda and her husband the kids were all down to our house for our New Years Eve Eve party that Sunday. I hadn't talked to her all week and last Friday afternoon I sent her a text to see what their plans were for the weekend. I didn't hear back until after I put Lyla to bed Friday night. And that one little text crushed me and has changed every thought I have had in the last week.
She said that they had Cassie in the ICU and she is in bad shape. She would call me when she could with the details.
I didn't get to talk to her until Saturday afternoon. So from Friday night when I read the text until she called me Saturday I convinced myself that Cassie got some kind of cold or flu and since she is so little she just couldn't fight it off on her own. I was wrong.
So here is what has happen in the last week:
Thursday Night: Cassie woke up fussing during the night. Amanda didn't go in right away to see if she would put herself back to sleep. About 20 - 30 minutes after she quit crying Amanda went in to check on her. She wasn't breathing. Her heart wasn't beating. They called 911 and her husband starting doing CPR.
She got admitted to Children's Hospital. She was in a coma. On a ventilator. Just not sure of what was going to happen. They dropped her body temperature way down to help prevent her brain from swelling.
Tuesday Morning: She woke up! She opened her eyes and started to move her little arms!
Wednesday: The MRI results show moderate to severe brain damage. But for right now the doctors don't really know what that means. Since she is so little, she could push through and live a relatively normal life. Nobody can predict right now how its going to go.
Right now: Cassie is still in ICU, but she is stable. They have been working to wean her from the ventilator by turning it down a little bit at a time. She still has the feeding tube. Amanda has been able to pump and they can give her the breast milk which I think is sort of special. Some of the medicine she is on makes her really sleepy so there hasn't been a whole lot of activity lately. They removed her catheter a couple days ago.
My heart is broken for them. They are living my worst nightmare. So please any extra thoughts, prayers or support that you can send to them, do it. They are fighters and I know they are going to pull through this, but that doesn't make it any easier on any of them.
I will try to keep you all posted of any updates.
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